Ever have days where it feels like this?

[mollyringle]

I was going to save this for another day, but it fits my (I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me) mood so well tonight, I'll give it to you now.

And, yes. I realize I'm guilty of having done at least half these things myself. That's part of the humor.
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Goodnight.

* * *

The Paranoid Pessimist's Guide to LJ

If I say I like something, people will ruin it for me by telling me why they hate it.

If I say I don't like something, people who do like it will emerge from the woodwork and demand to know what my problem is.

If I share good news, people will think I'm bragging.

If I share bad news, people will think I'm fishing for sympathy.

If I share personal news, people will think I'm an exhibitionist.

If I broach the subject of politics, people will unleash an all-out flame war.

If I treat a subject lightly, people will call me thoughtless.

If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

If I muse at length upon a small matter, people will think I'm babbling.

If I say I'm angry about something, people will tell me I'm overreacting.

If I share something I find funny, people will get offended.

If I put up pictures of myself, people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share a piece of writing I've done (like this), people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share what I did today, people will think I'm boring.

If I stay silent and don't post anything at all, people will think I'm sulking and/or neglecting them.

Comments

[starfish82.livejournal.com]

Heh, that's awesome.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

So's your dancing banana! That cheers me up. :D

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Too true! Too true!

Of course there's always the option of posting your brilliance and then disallowing comments, just to let "them" steam impotently, right? ;)

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

That one falls under the category of avoiding the flame war that ensues if one mentions politics.

As for impotence: what? Do you guys not have your own journals to steam in?

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you posted this. What are you, a narcissist? I LIKE lj, and I'm offended and want to know why the hell you don't. Also, you're boring, and by the way, how come you haven't posted in MY journal lately? I think you're neglecting me.

*glomp*

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

*whisper* P.S.--I know you disabled comments on your last post for a very good reason, but I just wanted to mention that I am, as far as I know, the only person from my very liberal family who has yet to see F9/11, and am still defending my position on why I don't want to. To me, dogmatic propaganda is only preaching to the chior. So good for you.

[elycia.livejournal.com]

Addendum: If you post that "I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me," you will be virtually hugged until your eyeballs bulge just to prove it's not true. :-)

(((((hugs)))))

P.S. My knee-jerk response to the Paranoid Pessimist's Guide: Who GIVES a flying f*** what people think?

[fmh.livejournal.com]

Gotta back elycia here. I waste no energy concerning the comments of nit-picky, self righteous, dicks. :)

[jennae.livejournal.com]

Good lord that's spot on. I'm going to post it in my LJ (because it speaks to many people...). I hope you don't mind. Credit will be given of course...

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

That's fine. :) Glad it struck a chord.

[patientx.livejournal.com]

OMG, I think all of these things when I'm going to post!

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Sometimes I wonder what we introverts are doing on LJ anyhow...

[jazzypoet.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* Love you, M!

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thank you, m'dear!

[wildecate.livejournal.com]

Very accurately observed.

[shebit.livejournal.com]

All so true.

[joemorf.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, insightful... and all too true.

~j

[angelabsinthe.livejournal.com]

hi! i got here via mythicalgryphon's journal. i wanted to compliment you on the list! it's SO true.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Amen!

[quantumlotus.livejournal.com]

do you post for yourself, other people, or both?

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I get that one all the damn time...

[tephramancy.livejournal.com]

If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

Don't forget obsessive.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Yes...often with the words "get a life" thrown in somewhere... :)

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Good god. This is pure genius. Thank you.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Heh, thank you. I don't feel much like a genius lately, but I'm relieved this struck a chord with others, at least.

[two-12.livejournal.com]

Right on!

[skyra.livejournal.com]

Came to this via shadesong too effing funny. And pedantic is one of my all time favorite words. So nice to see it written by someone other than myself.

If I share bad news, people will think I'm fishing for sympathy. that one I ran about a lot. *hugs* that are thrown around as oft as "I love you" between people who don't love. Ewie... Who would have known the pages I fill are so damn touchy feely.

*giggle*

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Nothing sexier than vocabulary. ;)

Yeah, I'm trying to resist letting my style become as mushy as some people's. It just doesn't seem like *me*.

[harkalark.livejournal.com]

Woot! Hilarious. I have nothing more to say. Because I'm sulking, or something.

[teasel.livejournal.com]

*smooch* Yes.

Or well, yes sometimes, actually -- an astonishing number of people on LJ are civilized and kind -- but it's amazing how a few people can poison a lovely thing.

Would it count as an example of obnoxious behavior if I admitted that I disagree with you about one or two things, but added that I love ya anyway?

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Aw, well, I can't find anyone who I don't disagree about a couple things with. And I've always loved your wonderful kindness and lack of malice. Really, a lack of malice is all I ask in most people...and I can even appreciate wickedness in some incarnations...:)

[schwa242.livejournal.com]

Beeyootiful.

[dahliablue.livejournal.com]

Saw this from a link in shrijani's journal. This is brilliant! I think I've thought each one of these thoughts at least once while being on LJ. Spot on.

[blndbmbshltr.livejournal.com]

Oh that's great! I have to paste it in my journal.

[sophy.livejournal.com]

Ha - too good.
Got here through someone else's link - hope ya don't mind if I link, too.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Fine with me. :) It amuses me that it's been popular enough for this!

[chatalaine.livejournal.com]

Good Lord. What was that??

Great post. I found you through a link, too.