Ever have days where it feels like this?

[mollyringle]

I was going to save this for another day, but it fits my (I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me) mood so well tonight, I'll give it to you now.

And, yes. I realize I'm guilty of having done at least half these things myself. That's part of the humor.
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Goodnight.

* * *

The Paranoid Pessimist's Guide to LJ

If I say I like something, people will ruin it for me by telling me why they hate it.

If I say I don't like something, people who do like it will emerge from the woodwork and demand to know what my problem is.

If I share good news, people will think I'm bragging.

If I share bad news, people will think I'm fishing for sympathy.

If I share personal news, people will think I'm an exhibitionist.

If I broach the subject of politics, people will unleash an all-out flame war.

If I treat a subject lightly, people will call me thoughtless.

If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

If I muse at length upon a small matter, people will think I'm babbling.

If I say I'm angry about something, people will tell me I'm overreacting.

If I share something I find funny, people will get offended.

If I put up pictures of myself, people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share a piece of writing I've done (like this), people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share what I did today, people will think I'm boring.

If I stay silent and don't post anything at all, people will think I'm sulking and/or neglecting them.

Comments

[starfish82.livejournal.com]

Heh, that's awesome.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Too true! Too true!

Of course there's always the option of posting your brilliance and then disallowing comments, just to let "them" steam impotently, right? ;)

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you posted this. What are you, a narcissist? I LIKE lj, and I'm offended and want to know why the hell you don't. Also, you're boring, and by the way, how come you haven't posted in MY journal lately? I think you're neglecting me.

*glomp*

[trilliah.livejournal.com]

*whisper* P.S.--I know you disabled comments on your last post for a very good reason, but I just wanted to mention that I am, as far as I know, the only person from my very liberal family who has yet to see F9/11, and am still defending my position on why I don't want to. To me, dogmatic propaganda is only preaching to the chior. So good for you.

[elycia.livejournal.com]

Addendum: If you post that "I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me," you will be virtually hugged until your eyeballs bulge just to prove it's not true. :-)

(((((hugs)))))

P.S. My knee-jerk response to the Paranoid Pessimist's Guide: Who GIVES a flying f*** what people think?

[jennae.livejournal.com]

Good lord that's spot on. I'm going to post it in my LJ (because it speaks to many people...). I hope you don't mind. Credit will be given of course...

[patientx.livejournal.com]

OMG, I think all of these things when I'm going to post!

[jazzypoet.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* Love you, M!

[wildecate.livejournal.com]

Very accurately observed.

[shebit.livejournal.com]

All so true.

[joemorf.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, insightful... and all too true.

~j

[angelabsinthe.livejournal.com]

hi! i got here via mythicalgryphon's journal. i wanted to compliment you on the list! it's SO true.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Amen!

[fmh.livejournal.com]

Gotta back elycia here. I waste no energy concerning the comments of nit-picky, self righteous, dicks. :)

[quantumlotus.livejournal.com]

do you post for yourself, other people, or both?

[tephramancy.livejournal.com]

If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

Don't forget obsessive.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Good god. This is pure genius. Thank you.

[two-12.livejournal.com]

Right on!

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I get that one all the damn time...

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

So's your dancing banana! That cheers me up. :D

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

That one falls under the category of avoiding the flame war that ensues if one mentions politics.

As for impotence: what? Do you guys not have your own journals to steam in?

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're being a free-thinker. :) I do see plenty of movies whose filmmakers I disagree with politically, because I like their stuff nonetheless. Hell, 99% of Hollywood is liberal; there's no avoiding it. And Moore's free to make money as he sees fit--that's the beauty of this country he keeps bashing. But I hate to see my smart friends take it as gospel truth when it's really nothing of the sort.

Incidentally, there have also been films my conservative friends have loved and raved about, but I haven't watched those either because they sound depressing or boring or something. :)

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)
I try not to care, but in truth I'm much too sensitive to pull that off successfully. *sigh*

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

That's fine. :) Glad it struck a chord.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Sometimes I wonder what we introverts are doing on LJ anyhow...