On sex changes, heat, and random things
May. 22nd, 2003 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mollyringleSex changes: I know the preferred term is "gender reassignment," but that's got way too many syllables. Who has the time? In any event: do you know a transsexual? 'Cause I do. In fact, I kind of dated one. Well, he wasn't a transsexual at the time, just a remarkably pretty boy with an evasive quality about him. Alex was his name, not his real name actually, but that's what he went by in high school. We went to winter formal together once, and I had this huge romantic crush on him, and every couple of years we'd see each other again and have enchanting but sort of strange conversations.
He was a lovely kisser - still is, I imagine - and was one of the few boys I've ever known whose hair was as thick as mine (but his was a luscious dark brown-black). He claimed, a couple years after high school, that I was the first girl he'd ever loved, not that he ever indicated this back when it might have been good to know. Ah, well. Anyhow, since he was always so shy or somehow distant, there was never anything more than an occasional kiss and a lot of flattering comments between us.
Then a couple years ago I heard the most interesting thing from my little sister, who had run into our Alex: he wanted to be a she. This boy thing was not working out for him. Oh, but don't worry - he really did love me - because, see, he wanted to become a girl so that he could be a lesbian. (See P.S. below.)
All right, yeah, that was hard to wrap my mind around. I wasn't angry or disturbed or anything; in fact, I had to admit it was rather entertaining and I was curious what he'd look like in women's clothes. But we lived in different cities by then, and I figured maybe it was just a passing phase, and anyway it was none of my business. Fast forward to roughly last week: by a chance link encounter, I found his - no, her - website and journal. She's going through with this. Her name lately is Astrid. She had voice samples on the site, old (boy voice) and new (girl voice), and I listened to both.
The boy voice was Alex as I remembered: lovely, genteel, but decidedly male. The girl voice: OK, I was expecting something like Priscilla-Queen-of-the-Desert voices, men doing their female impression. But, no: to my surprise, it sounds completely, normally female. I'm astounded and impressed. I wouldn't have recognized her if she called. In fact, I might have mistaken her for one of my roommates from college. Well, we exchanged a few emails, and she's just as charming as I remember, so I'm hoping to pay her a visit next time I'm back in my hometown. It will be a lot easier, actually, just having Alex/Astrid as a girl-friend than always walking that edgy flirtation line like we used to do.
Because, no matter how I try, I am not into girls that way. It doesn't bother me, it's just that I cannot get boys off the brain. *shrug* (And anyway, I'm married.) Luckily, she's claiming she's bisexual now, so we can sit in a coffeeshop and check out the college boys together. Hee. This actually sounds like great fun.
Heat: it's been hot in the Sacramento Valley for, what, a week now? And I hate it already. I want the rain back. My tolerance for this area is actually getting weaker the longer I live here.
Random things: Your LOTR-related link of the day: Frodo's journey as allegory of submitting a thesis. Too perfect for my current situation. Giggling at images of Aragorn as a wandering postdoc and Elrond as the head of the department.
P.S. The sex-change-to-become-a-lesbian thing actually isn't undocumented. There's a novel about it, in fact: Trans-Sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian. Quite interesting.
He was a lovely kisser - still is, I imagine - and was one of the few boys I've ever known whose hair was as thick as mine (but his was a luscious dark brown-black). He claimed, a couple years after high school, that I was the first girl he'd ever loved, not that he ever indicated this back when it might have been good to know. Ah, well. Anyhow, since he was always so shy or somehow distant, there was never anything more than an occasional kiss and a lot of flattering comments between us.
Then a couple years ago I heard the most interesting thing from my little sister, who had run into our Alex: he wanted to be a she. This boy thing was not working out for him. Oh, but don't worry - he really did love me - because, see, he wanted to become a girl so that he could be a lesbian. (See P.S. below.)
All right, yeah, that was hard to wrap my mind around. I wasn't angry or disturbed or anything; in fact, I had to admit it was rather entertaining and I was curious what he'd look like in women's clothes. But we lived in different cities by then, and I figured maybe it was just a passing phase, and anyway it was none of my business. Fast forward to roughly last week: by a chance link encounter, I found his - no, her - website and journal. She's going through with this. Her name lately is Astrid. She had voice samples on the site, old (boy voice) and new (girl voice), and I listened to both.
The boy voice was Alex as I remembered: lovely, genteel, but decidedly male. The girl voice: OK, I was expecting something like Priscilla-Queen-of-the-Desert voices, men doing their female impression. But, no: to my surprise, it sounds completely, normally female. I'm astounded and impressed. I wouldn't have recognized her if she called. In fact, I might have mistaken her for one of my roommates from college. Well, we exchanged a few emails, and she's just as charming as I remember, so I'm hoping to pay her a visit next time I'm back in my hometown. It will be a lot easier, actually, just having Alex/Astrid as a girl-friend than always walking that edgy flirtation line like we used to do.
Because, no matter how I try, I am not into girls that way. It doesn't bother me, it's just that I cannot get boys off the brain. *shrug* (And anyway, I'm married.) Luckily, she's claiming she's bisexual now, so we can sit in a coffeeshop and check out the college boys together. Hee. This actually sounds like great fun.
Heat: it's been hot in the Sacramento Valley for, what, a week now? And I hate it already. I want the rain back. My tolerance for this area is actually getting weaker the longer I live here.
Random things: Your LOTR-related link of the day: Frodo's journey as allegory of submitting a thesis. Too perfect for my current situation. Giggling at images of Aragorn as a wandering postdoc and Elrond as the head of the department.
P.S. The sex-change-to-become-a-lesbian thing actually isn't undocumented. There's a novel about it, in fact: Trans-Sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian. Quite interesting.
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Re: Another outcast..
Date: 2003-05-23 10:05 pm (UTC)Hard to live in an area where your friends (on a regular basis, mind) say things like, "It's those damn gays...wish we could get rid of them" (or, for some of the more violent types) "Shoot 'em all."
Great place to be, the good 'ol midwest. -_-
Re: Another outcast..
Date: 2003-05-24 09:04 am (UTC)I think the fact that I had such a narrow-minded upbringing is what made me so determined to be openminded about life (even if conservative in general). My best friend is gay and I love him to absolute bits :) We just understand each other on a level that noone else can (not even my hubby) and it's special.
I read a book called To Kill a Mockingbird recently and the girl described things in a way that I so love - she says you should try to climb into the skin of the other person to try to understand who they are and how they see life. I think that is so true ...it is so easy to judge from a distance if you have never tried to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 04:56 pm (UTC)Life and literature
Date: 2003-05-25 05:54 am (UTC)I really loved Mocking Bird because I could really identify with Scout - had to deal with the same issues and awarenesses, so to speak. Growing up in the apartheid-era was confusing at best and my family still dispairs over me as I am not like any of them. We dont' share politics, church views or life views and I am not a domestic godess like my grandmothers lol
When I left home after school I had a wonderful time of "growing up" in the city of Pretoria, where most of my friends were gay men in the fashion industry. One was a drag queen of note! They really brightened up this country girl's life and I definitely don't shock easily anymore lol!
Speaking of literature, if you want a very interesting slant on Robinson Crusoe, read Foe by J.M. Coetzee (http://www.uni-ulm.de/~rturrell/antho1html/wade1.html) -- it is written from a woman's point of view and I thoroughly enjoyed it!