mollyringle: (Frolijah)
[personal profile] mollyringle
OK. Lines from The Two Towers That Sound Especially Perverted When Taken Out of Context. Here's the list so far of those that made the cut.

In order of how they appear in the film:

SAM: I don't think Gandalf meant for us to come this way.

MAUHUR: What do you smell?
UGLUK: Man-flesh!

EOMER: How long has it been since Saruman bought you?

GRISHNAK: Ooh, they look tasty.

UGLUK: Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

FRODO: I do not ask you to come with me, Sam.

GANDALF: Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.

SAM: You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you.

GOLLUM: Give it to usss raw...and wriggling!

FRODO: This creature is bound to me. And I to him.

FARAMIR: A chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality.

LEGOLAS: That is no orc horn.

GIMLI: You could have picked a better spot.

LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.

GIMLI: I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!

PIPPIN: It’s too big for us.

GIMLI: Toss me. Don't tell the elf. [That has GOT to be the most obvious one of all.]

TREEBEARD: Hold on, little Shirelings. I always like going south. [I'm going to hell for that one. But it cracks me up.]

FRODO: I can't do this, Sam.
SAM: I know. It's all wrong.

...There were several that I considered, but ended up cutting because they were just a tad too subtle ("Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam") or repetitive (countless times Gollum says "Come, hobbits, come"--would've gotten lame very shortly).


Can be updated and edited once we get a proper transcript. This one, upon closer inspection, is still missing bits. But still a valuable and worthwhile achievement.

Date: 2003-01-05 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gypsyjr.livejournal.com
*SNORTS loudly*

You may be going to hell for this, but I love you for it. ;)

Date: 2003-01-05 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madri.livejournal.com
I randomly stumbled upon this page, and I just had to say, this has gotta be some of the funniest stuff ever. I laughed so hard, tears came out of my eyes. Thank you.

Date: 2003-01-05 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com
GANDALF: Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.

*gaspgiggle*

Bwee!

as do I.....

Date: 2003-01-05 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennae.livejournal.com
Somebody's got to do it hon. I'm just glad you make the time! :)

Date: 2003-01-05 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hollinelf.livejournal.com
I am never going to be the same when watching TTT again. I did notice some of those pervy bits, but now I know alot more. Heh, thanks!

Date: 2003-01-05 03:32 am (UTC)

Date: 2003-01-05 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonliter.livejournal.com
SAM: You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you.

haha this is so horribly amusing!
i'd never watch lotr in the same light again :P

thanks for that! :)

Date: 2003-01-05 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedmiller.livejournal.com
That's the one I liked best too -- I think I actually snorted during the movie ... snorted reverently, of course...

Nice icon of Little Hands o' Concrete.

Date: 2003-01-05 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chiabrit.livejournal.com
Nice, very nice :)

Re:

Date: 2003-01-05 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com
That's the one I liked best too -- I think I actually snorted during the movie ... snorted reverently, of course...

Reverently, of course. Wouldn't do to laugh at Gandalf the White.

Nice icon of Little Hands o' Concrete.

It's Trust, actually.

Date: 2003-01-05 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedmiller.livejournal.com
silly wabbit - I know that - is there an album called "Little Hands of Concrete"? I think that's just an EC moniker.

Re:

Date: 2003-01-05 09:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmtorres.livejournal.com
Yes, a bootleg...

Date: 2003-01-05 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sonatine.livejournal.com
LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.


This movie was just one big ball o'innuendo. I congratulate you upon picking out the best parts. *snicker*

Date: 2003-01-05 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheerjess.livejournal.com
It's so refreshing to read that others found themselves snorting and giggling through out the movie, from the film itself! : )
Aragorn's random smiles themselves had flapping my arms and chuckling itself!

Date: 2003-01-05 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thirteenthchime.livejournal.com
For me, it was all those manly shoulder pats.

picture missing

Date: 2003-01-05 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
<...picks up LJ picture and leaves to go look for copy of bootleg...>

I seem to be corrupting everyone...

Date: 2003-01-05 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
hehe... and if we can count gestures as well as lines, just think about the way Frodo strokes that Ring while he thinks everyone else is asleep.
^_-

Date: 2003-01-05 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
Some of the lines are a stretch, but yeah, that one really does sound perverted out of context. I'd nominate it for the top five.

Date: 2003-01-06 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] psyche212.livejournal.com
rotf i'll never look at it the same way again :\

Re: I seem to be corrupting everyone...

Date: 2003-01-06 05:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hollinelf.livejournal.com
Ah yes, the famous 'ring stroke' They just can't resist its golden body and voluptuous curves

Date: 2003-01-06 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_redpanda_/
Don't forget all the "manly nods" on the extended DVD!

Date: 2003-01-06 12:56 pm (UTC)
ext_30739: Benjamin Linus loves his premium channel package (Default)
From: [identity profile] snowystingray.livejournal.com
GIMLI: Toss me. Don't tell the elf. [That has GOT to be the most obvious one of all.]

The only thing I could think of for the longest time after that were MJ/Peter references. I suppose the actual footage was shot before Spider-man came out, but still...

*waves flag*

Date: 2003-01-07 12:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twelveeyes.livejournal.com
Got linked here by [livejournal.com profile] sweetfires. Love it.

LOTR-TT

Date: 2003-01-07 06:47 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
THIS WAS GREAT!! Just what I needed to lighten up my morning! Gratefully recieved from MORLITH. Just too damn funny!!

~Nik

Date: 2003-01-07 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iscaris.livejournal.com
LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.


This has got to be my favorite line ;D Thanks for sharing this -- it's hilarious.

*roflmao*

Date: 2003-01-08 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gewgaw.livejournal.com
Next time I watch TTT even more decadent perverse thoughts are going to run through my head.

All the more fun :D

Oh Dear...

Date: 2003-01-10 01:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] piptook.livejournal.com
I got this link on accident but i'm glad i did. very very funny!! i noticed a few of these but i didn't really want to say anything...

MUAHAHAHA i'm corrupted

Un Mas

Date: 2003-01-11 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] georgia.livejournal.com
Legolas: "Would you like me to describe it to you? Or shall I find you a box?"

That took the cake for me! LMAO

Re: Un Mas

Date: 2003-01-11 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
Hahaha...

I cannot believe I didn't notice that one. (Though, technically, Gimli's at just the right height even without a box...teehee...)

Date: 2003-01-11 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gargamellon.livejournal.com
You forgot the implied:

Sam: I love you Mr. Frodo. Take me here, right now.

Re: Un Mas

Date: 2003-01-11 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] georgia.livejournal.com
LOL didn't hear it that way but that's funny. Box = vagina you know I think it might be a Northeastern US colloquialism b/c not many people get it, but there ya go! I laughed my head off.

OH!

Date: 2003-01-11 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
Ahhh, okay, yes. Hehehe...somehow, in all my perviness, I missed that one despite being familiar with the term (yep, it's used in the West too). Maybe because there are so few women in LOTR, I just didn't think of female-specific things... But when you put it that way, that really is a hilariously suggestive line. I'd be curious to hear Legolas's "description"...would it be in the form of lovely Elvish poetry? "Ode to a..." well, never mind. :D

Date: 2003-01-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
...Which is pretty much the subtext of every one of Sam's lines. :)

And if we're counting implication, then Legolas's "You're late. You look terrible" (to Aragorn) would translate roughly into, "You. Me. Shower. Now."

Re:

Date: 2003-01-12 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gargamellon.livejournal.com
hahaha. Oh, but they were really good actors.

Elijah Wood, now, you could think pretty easily that he enjoys a man's lovin'.

Date: 2003-01-12 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollyringle.livejournal.com
According to some rumors, he does indeed... (*cough*DominicMonaghan *cough*)

Date: 2003-01-17 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goldensnidget.livejournal.com
"Give it to us raw and wriggling"
Can't help but snort loudly every time I hear that line.

Date: 2003-01-17 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I enjoyed these as much as everyone but the elijah comment just pissed me off

Re:

Date: 2003-01-17 08:25 pm (UTC)

Date: 2003-01-21 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-squashy880.livejournal.com
A chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality

Glad you got that one in!

Date: 2003-02-13 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackcherrycola.livejournal.com
it certainly shouldn't.
unless you're married to him.

Date: 2003-08-28 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] touchofpineiro.livejournal.com
This movie was just one big ball o'innuendo

Nice way to phrase that LMAO

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