"Lust swelled within Regina's womb like a marshmallow in a microwave."

[mollyringle]

Danielle Steel has been dreadfully tame (and sometimes just dreadful) so far, so I had to make up my own bad erotic quote. But I've meaning to post this as a fun Friday poll for a while now. Given that erotica (not-quite-pornographic fiction) is selling like hotcakes these days, and given that we could all use a little extra spending money, and given also that we all know we could write better than some published authors, I ask you...

[Poll #870014]

Comments

[new-iconoclast.livejournal.com]

I mean, I literally couldn't. I'm a pretty good writer, and some things I do really well. But I don't think erotica is on the list. I just don't think I could capture the mood very well.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

It really isn't as easy as it looks. Very difficult to avoid writing things that will elicit an unintentional laugh, in my experience. The euphemisms, in particular, are snickerable.

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

I have actually considered doing this, and I bought a women's magazine that opened over here recently as research. It's the first women's mag in the UK that is specifically about erotic writing, fiction and non-fiction. I thought: "I could do that!" Got to say, though, that hardly any of the stories got my, er, juices flowing, so maybe I'm not right for the job. I have written a few sex scenes, though, and it's not too difficult, though of course it's easier to do so in the context of well established characters etc rather than in a 1000 word story where the characters are there as placemarkers for sex! ;) I definitely would not use my real name, though - not the sort of thing I want future employers (or God forbid, students!) to be able to google up! :)

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Was it "Scarlet"? (The magazine.) I recently saw a post about that one somewhere. But yes, I imagine I would encounter the same problems you list. I need a strong love element for sex scenes to work, generally, so how can you build that up in 1,000 words? I guess fanfic is different, since the backstory already exists, but you can't get paid for that, usually.

Amen on the reasons for pseudonyms! Young writers these days might think they'll never be ashamed of what they've written, but once you become the teacher and have young faces looking at you, you start to reconsider...

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

I would just be overcome by the desire to create truly inappropriate Tom Swifties and end up giggling on the floor. So...no.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

*snerk*
You're making me want to have an Erotica Tom Swiftie competition here.

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

Oh you so should. That would rule. And make me giggle so hard I'd end up in a coma.