Vacation chillage and when it finally happens.

[mollyringle]

Open question for those with kids:
How old did your kids have to be before your family vacations actually felt like vacations? Rather than feeling like variations on the usual stress, that is?

Maybe this comes down to the question: At what age does a person learn to relax quietly for an extended period of time, and respect the relaxation of others? When I put it that way, it occurs to me that some people are just born with that ability, while others never learn it their whole lives. But I assume most are somewhere in between, antsy as kids but learning to relax and chill as adults. And I'm wondering when that happens.

Yep. I only come to you for the tough questions, o random internet people.

Comments

[travels-in-time.livejournal.com]

Around five or six, for my kids. But I know other people's kids who are much older and still have no clue, so I guess it depends. And it depends on what they like to do, too. Kids who enjoy, for instance, sitting down and reading, or playing cards or board games, are likely to be more relaxing to be around than those who prefer to run around screaming and play-fighting (which generally ends up as real fighting).

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

*nod*
I'm thinking five for both will be a better place, as the older child is dealing much better these days than he used to, and better than the current toddler as well. They *are* active, in a non-violent but still energetic way. While that's usually good and healthy, it makes them basket cases for a five-hour car ride. I look forward to the age when they can face such a drive without whining. And without me reaching backward to give them snacks/books/distractions, and wrenching my neck/shoulder in the process. Yeah. Hey, it's me whining now! :)

[nehi.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but when you find out, could you let me know? ;)

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Will be happy to. :D

[jjschwabach.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I was never one of those run around and make noise kids even at my youngest. Of course, not being able to run around might have queered the deal...

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I seem to remember being a quiet child, but then I don't remember what I was like at, say, two. I don't dare ask my parents for fear they'll tell me. ;) I mostly just want the kids to be able to face a five-hour car ride without getting the automotive version of cabin fever...

[jjschwabach.livejournal.com]

Ah. I had to do that already by the age of two, because of having been born with such an unusual medical issue that we had to travel great distances to get any theories about treatment, even.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*
Given that perspective, I am definitely going to stop whining and woman up now. :) Surely to "woman up" is at least as courageous as to "man up"...maybe more so!

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

I've been using "woman up" for a while myself. I say we make this phrase mainstream!

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

We should! Similarly, I've heard it proposed that instead of calling a weak-willed person a "pussy," we call them a "scrotum." After all, vaginas are strong; they spit out human beings. But scrotums, sheesh, talk about vulnerable.

[jjschwabach.livejournal.com]

Yes, we need to woman up.

And thanks for the hug. The medical team is divided exactly in half, one side saying, "Neurofibromatosis I does sometimes bring on this sort of thing," and the other half saying, "No, this is just really bad luck."

But what one needs, is hugs. and counting. From, "Dead by Christmas, oh, dear, *on*..." (Okay, that part I wasn't told until a bit later) to : "Still going strong after nine months," is still scary sometimes.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Whichever explanation it is, it's more than enough bad luck for one person, I say. Time for bad luck to move away and leave you be! Begone, ill wind!

*extra hug, just for good measure*

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

I CAN SPIT HUMAN BEINGS OUT OF MY GIRL PARTS
FEAR ME

do forgive me, I'm feeling silly tonight

i'm all on board with calling weak-spirited people "scrotums" too

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE HERE ONLY BY THE MERCY OF GIRL PARTS THAT SHELTERED YOU FOR NINE MONTHS; BOW DOWN TO THE GIRL PARTS.

Hee. Yes. Anyway...

[jess-faraday.livejournal.com]

For the first version of the question, my kids were 5.5 and 6.5 when vacations felt more like vacations than like "same bullsh-- different location."

For the second version of the question, nobody in our family relaxes or chills on vacation. For us, having vacation with kids "feel like vacation" means that we can hike on cliffs without worrying about anyone deliberately running off them!

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Heh, the "not running off cliffs" thing is definitely part of the problem! We were just at the Oregon coast, and even though they've nicely fenced in their dramatically dangerous cliff-tops, I couldn't help feeling a touch of panic when the toddler went careening off the path this way and that. Yeesh. But then, I'll probably still worry about them when they're 20 and doing a study-abroad stint in Europe or Asia or whatever. :) So perhaps it's more about me finding my mentally balanced place.

Still, yes, I'm guessing things will be easier when we've reached at least age 5 for both of them. The current five-year-old was certainly the easier one to deal with, not requiring naps and diapers and all that.