Let us give thanks for racy Tom Swifties

[mollyringle]

kalquessa said, in answer to the poll in my previous post ("Could you ever write erotica for money?"), "I would just be overcome by the desire to create truly inappropriate Tom Swifties and end up giggling on the floor."

Then we both agreed that it is vitally important for me to open up the floor here and actually invite such Swifties.

I'll get the ball rolling with a tame one:

"I'll wear my cone-shaped Madonna bra for you," she said pointedly.

Now you!

And happy Thanksgiving.


.

Comments

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

"Oh! Darling! I love you! This is the greatest sex everrrrrrrr!" he exploded.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Considering older books use "ejaculate" as "exclaim," it could be even worse. :)

[astroman-rich.livejournal.com]

"You really go for the kinky stuff, don't you?" said Tom, tongue in cheek.

Sorry, I'll go hide again. ;-)

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Haha! That's good!

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

"C'mon baby, put on the crotchless knickers," Tom panted.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Hee! I like any mention of "pants."

[dirae.livejournal.com]

"It's not like I've bothered to measure it," Tom replied prickly.

"My crotch feels like it is on fire," Tom bemoaned crabbily. "I guess I shouldn’t have come," he exclaimed rashly while shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh! My! God!" Tom ejaculated.

"Your lips were asking for it," Tom said bitingly.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Hah! Very good! I especially like "prickily" or "crabbily"...

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

GODDAMN LIVEJOURNAL STOP EATING MY COMMENTS?!!!!!!

Let's see if I can remember them...

"I thought you said if I bought you the Cabernet Sauvignon you'd give me head?" Tom whined.

"I'd like to give you oral sex," Tom mouthed.

"I've never had sex in a campsite before," said Tom intently.

"I'd like to see your pussy," Tom purred.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

*chortle*


"I've never had sex in a campsite before," said Tom intently. <--my favorite. So silly. :D

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

Heehee, I am glad you like! :D

I'm goin' to hell for this

[teenybuffalo.livejournal.com]

"I'm a homosexual necrophiliac," said Tom in dead earnest.

(not mine, I stole it from somewhere)

Re: I'm goin' to hell for this

[rachel2205.livejournal.com]

Ahhaha!

Re: I'm goin' to hell for this

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Bhahaha. That's pretty awesome.

[astroman-rich.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry I came so soon", said Tom rapidly.

"You have lovely breasts", uttered Tom.

[mollyringle.livejournal.com]

Hee hee! As a nursing mama I can especially appreciate the mammary reference.

By the way, have we "met" before? There was a Rich who worked for a POD place, with whom I exchanged emails a couple years back, but that's all my memory is turning up...