Hobbitslash Writer (guess this counts as "songfic"?)

[mollyringle]

Posted this in January to a hobbit-oriented mailing list, but never got around to putting it here. In my usual style, it's somewhere between a celebration of slash and a satire of it. Anyway, in honor of the Two Towers DVD release or something (radiofreecarbon promises there's a DVD and a Samwise bobble-head waiting for me at home - woohoo!), here you go...

Hobbitslash Writer
(by Molly J. Ringwraith)
(To be sung to the tune of "Paperback Writer," with apologies to the Beatles. And to Tolkien for that matter.)

Dear pervy-minded, I've undressed a Took,
It took me hours to write, will you take a look?
Based on the fellows from the great Tolkien,
And it doesn't pay, but I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

It's the dirty story of a lad named Sam
And his Master Frodo doesn't understand.
I want to cast them in a Plot-What-Plot,
It's a shocking thought, but I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

It's a thousand words, gave it all I could,
I'll be writing more if the feedback's good.
I can tie up Merry if you like that style,
I can make it angsty, and I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

If you really want it, I'll include the Elf,
Or our Frodo fantasizing by himself.
I'm an honest student with a heart of gold,
But I need a break and I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!


(Thank you.)