Demi ponderings

[mollyringle]

I only lately learned we demisexual folk count as LGTBQ+, according to many. Do I now get to call All the Better Part of Me #OwnVoices? Well, no, I'm still not a tall cis bi man, so it's still not OwnVoices that way.

 

One would also be forgiven for being surprised to hear I'm demi, given the general sex-positivity and/or perviness of my writing and attitude. It confuses me too. But it seems to boil down to "perv on the page and in imagination, demi in real life."

 

I'm only now learning how common this is! Demisexuality is considered (depending who you ask) a part of the asexuality spectrum. And I previously thought ace meant not having any sexual interest ever, but have lately learned it often means liking sex in theory and/or as a physical sensation, just not being attracted that way to actual other people.

 

For me it's always been like, "Huh, I'm so weird, because clearly many people would honestly sleep with most of those they find good-looking, whereas I only feel that way about, like, 1% of those I know, even when I find them aesthetically attractive. But I approve of those who are more sexually active, and I like to write about sex and romance. Hrm."

 

The short term for all that, more or less, is "demisexual." And depending on who your gatekeeper is, it might count as queer. So. Huzzah!

Comments

[sopdetly]

I resisted the asexual label for myself for many similar reasons until I found the micro-label "aegosexual", and then it was suddenly OH, I SEE. LOL. I definitely consider demi as ace-spec, and all aces are part of the rainbow! Welcome!

[shanmonster]

Oh, neat perspective. I'm demi, too, and have written some pure raunchy filth.

[mollyringle]

Oooh, "aegosexual"! There are so many cool new words I need to get familiar with. Thank you, and I'm glad to find these things are actually common. :D

[mollyringle]

lol! Yeah, the more I hear from self-disclosing writers, the more common such qualities seem among us. I suppose it makes sense: writing provides us a comfortable outlet for subjects we don't particularly feel like taking on in real life. Subjects of many kinds really, but certainly including raunch. :D