Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, condensed

Hi everyone,

I finally rounded out my Harry Potter condensed parody collection by writing one for Order of the Phoenix, and it is now done and you can read it here! (Also here.)

Or at least, my parody series WAS complete until they released that eighth book yesterday. I'm ignoring that detail for now.

Feel free to send anyone to my full collection of parodies if you think they'd like them. They include not only the HP books but the Lord of the Rings movies, and a couple of other random things.

Now I get to bring my attention back to my own novels, which have been a tad neglected during this process, but which I'll be happy to dive into again.

Hope you're having a lovely summer!

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, condensed

by Molly Ringle

August 1, 2016

With no permission from, and many apologies and thanks to, J.K. Rowling.

CHAPTER ONE: LET’S START WITH A LITTLE WHINGING

HARRY: The Dursleys are mean and my wizard friends aren’t telling me the Voldemort news and I’m grumpy. I mean, yes, that’s my usual mood for most of the series, but I’m REALLY FEELING IT this book, you guys.

Then his summer gets a lot more exciting when DEMENTORS appear in the alley and corner HARRY and DUDLEY! A DEMENTOR sucks DUDLEY’s face until HARRY chases it off with the Patronus Charm.

HEAD OF DEPARTMENT OF CAPS LOCK RAGE: Hello! I’ll be tallying caps lock rage. So far, one line for Harry, followed by one for Dudley. Carry on.

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