Flame War: Automobile Transmission
Apr. 23rd, 2008 02:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mollyringleIt's Flame War Wednesday! Let's make some comedy.
Your assignment is to choose a side on today's topic and defend it belligerently and obnoxiously. You should also rip apart your opponents with as much rancor and condescension as you can manage. Use absurd and rude personal attacks whenever possible. Ready? Okay.
Your topic: manual vs. automatic transmission in automobiles.
Example arguments to get you started:
The stickshift is just for annoying motor-elitists and NASCAR-wanna-be trash.
Oh yeah? Well, automatic transmission is for old ladies and young idiots who can't even work the windshield wipers properly and thus shouldn't be allowed to drive at all.
Now you try.
Your assignment is to choose a side on today's topic and defend it belligerently and obnoxiously. You should also rip apart your opponents with as much rancor and condescension as you can manage. Use absurd and rude personal attacks whenever possible. Ready? Okay.
Your topic: manual vs. automatic transmission in automobiles.
Example arguments to get you started:
The stickshift is just for annoying motor-elitists and NASCAR-wanna-be trash.
Oh yeah? Well, automatic transmission is for old ladies and young idiots who can't even work the windshield wipers properly and thus shouldn't be allowed to drive at all.
Now you try.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 10:05 pm (UTC)Why would I want a *manual*mobile? You might as well stick your feet out the bottom and jog like the Flintstones.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 10:10 pm (UTC)Stick shift forever!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 10:34 pm (UTC)By using an automatic, you are therefore betraying feminism and everything your grandmothers fought for!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 10:53 pm (UTC)Drive automatic and reject the phallocentric automobile.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 11:20 pm (UTC)Also: bluedragon716: awesome icon
no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 12:35 am (UTC)Those of us who are enlightened and are still fighting the good fight will drive manual, in order to subvert the dominant paradigm and render equality a reality!
/flame
There, that should be sufficiently insane for a flame war...oh, and I do love your icon
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 12:50 am (UTC)You're not 'subverting the dominant paradigm,' you just enjoy pandering to the male fantasy of a female grasp on the male power symbol.
/personal attack.
I'm a bit concerned at how easily the batshit comes to mind...
Thank you! I think it's pretty awesome too.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 01:00 am (UTC)On a more serious note, I have actual reasons why I always buy manual cars:
1) They're less expensive.
2) They're much more fun to drive (okay, that one's subjective).
3) They have better fuel economy.
4) If you're stuck in snow, you can "rock" them out by switching rapidly between first and reverse.
4) Manual transmissions are much less expensive to repair than automatic ones.
I've taught three people (including Greg) how to drive stick, and they were all still speaking to me afterwards.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 01:25 am (UTC)Join the modern enlightened thinkers of the twenty-first century! Drive an automatic!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 01:27 am (UTC)Do you often feel the need to assert your dominance over a lifeless heap of metal? Perhaps you're sublimating your rage over feelings of helplessness in another area of your life.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 01:30 am (UTC)WHY ARE YOU DISSING OUR TROOPS, YOU PINKO COMMIE?!?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:19 am (UTC)/flame
God, I... I've felt the illicit little rush that comes even when you just *pretend* to be an Internet dickhedd. I may never be the same again.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:31 am (UTC)(wait, I've forgotten which side of the argument you're on.)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:56 am (UTC)You guys are doing awesome here. I'm so proud.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 02:58 am (UTC)Beautiful. This post is turning out so beautiful.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 03:02 am (UTC)And agreed, androgynous Bowie is a perfect icon for that, in a sort of ironic way. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 03:13 am (UTC)(...I think I have as well...)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:31 am (UTC)THROW ROCKS AT THEM
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 11:49 am (UTC)Sorry, that wasn't very fierce, was it?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 04:55 pm (UTC)And as usual, I'm on the fence: I like the new manu-matic trannies they're putting in Hyundais, now.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:51 pm (UTC)Pick a side, you wibbly flip-flopper!
Haven't you ever heard the cliche "You want to have your cake and eat it too?"
Much like bi-sexuality leading to twice the potential for rejection, manu-matic trannies lead to twice the expense to fix them!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:53 pm (UTC)(Okay, I was going to respond to the di-sexuality line re. trannies, but...I'm laughing too hard to come up with a decent response. you win this one.)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 07:24 pm (UTC)No, seriously. With a manual, you can slow down a little without braking using engine compression when you take your foot off the gas. With an automatic, you have to use the brakes to achieve the same effect. When people see brake lights ahead of them, they slow down by reflex, usually a little bit more than the car ahead. In congested traffic, one person driving an automatic who touches the brake just to slow down a little will create a cascade effect resulting in stop-and-go traffic a mile or two behind.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:29 pm (UTC)Did you ever see Uncle Sam sitting on a fence? I think not. The Statue of Liberty? Is Mount Rushmore a rock or bits of pointy whitewashed wood?
And you call yourself an American? Bah.
Okay, I was going to respond to the di-sexuality line re. trannies, but...I'm laughing too hard to come up with a decent response. you win this one.
Dude. Don't make me argue with myself. Because I will. And it won't be pretty.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:32 pm (UTC)I drive an automatic. When I take my foot off the gas, I slow down. It's called physics, look it up.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:38 pm (UTC)No, I did not.
You are sniffing gas, aren't you? You do realize cocaine is probably cheaper?
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:50 pm (UTC)B) You admit to taking your foot off the gas and slowing down in traffic
C) Slowing down in traffic causes traffic jams
QED: By your own admission YOU are the cause of traffic jams.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 08:59 pm (UTC)B) I do not touch the brake to slow down a little.
C) An automatic slows down without applying brakes.
QED: By not reading your own theories, you admit to gas sniffing.
GAS SNIFFER.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 01:41 am (UTC)Yep, That Stirred 'Em Up
Date: 2008-04-25 05:17 am (UTC)+
Professional Help Needed Here...
Date: 2008-04-25 05:25 am (UTC)+
no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 09:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-26 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-26 10:47 pm (UTC)...Golly.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-28 01:41 am (UTC)Most evil dictators get driven around in limos with automatic transmissions. Therefore, people who drive automatics support evil dictators.